★Melonbooks Limited Short Story “Guys Desire Lap Pillows”
“Um, Mister Pig?
Why do men desire older or younger sisters?”
Jess abruptly inquired while we were still walking,
leaving me confused as question marks filled my head.
(Well… I don’t think all men desire for an older or
younger sister, but… what made you suddenly ask about that?)
“You were emphasizing how great sibling relationships are last night… and Mr. Nott kept calling out ‘Onee-chan’ in his sleep, so…”
I couldn’t help but snort at that. I never would’ve imagined that this handsome
huntsman had this sort of side to him.
Nott, who was silently leading the way with Brace in
tow, had his ears turn red like traffic lights.
(Oh, so you have an older sister, Nott?)
Nott seemed to have been shaken by my question, as he
tripped over a pebble and nearly lost his balance.
“…No, I don’t have one.”
“Huh…? Then who
were you asking to give you a lap pillow in your sleep?”
Innocent curiosity can sometimes be so incredibly
cruel.
Nott had been facing forward with self-restraint, but
even he stopped at this and turned around.
“I-It doesn’t matter who it is, alright? It’s not like an older woman that I admired
would pamper me and give me a lap pillow when I called her ‘Onee-chan’ or
anything like that, okay?”
Just how bad are you at lying? The way you said that was like a picture
perfect example of a tsundere…
Jess appeared to have sensed something, as she uttered
a “Sorry” before shutting her mouth.
Well, that being said, I never expected to find a
kindred soul here. I’m sure sister moe
is a common disease across all cultures.
After traveling for some time, Jess came to me with an
apple while we were all resting our feet.
“Onii-san, here’s an apple for you.”
Oink?
(Uh… you don’t have to force yourself to call me that.)
She gently shook her head at my suggestion.
“I’m not forcing myself. I just wanted to give it a try and see how it
feels to say it.”
(That’s fine in that case… By the way, how does it feel?)
“It’s not that different from usual. Perhaps it’s because I’m always pampering you… What about you, Onii-san? How are you feeling?”
(I-I mean, it’s not half bad.)
Jess then smiled mischievously and held the apple in
her hands towards me.
“Here, Onii-san.
Ahn~”
My mouth opened on its own, as if it was under some
kind of spell. Munch.
While chewing on the apple in a daze, I noticed Brace
was staring at me with cold eyes. Stop! This is a misunderstanding! I’m definitely not a pervert who enjoys being
called “Onii-san” by a cute, younger girl!
(…I’m glad, but let’s put a stop to this. It just feels kind of immoral.)
“You think so?
I was having fun though…”
In the end, being called a pig by a cute, blonde girl is
the best.
“In that case, how about ‘Pig Onii-san’?”
(Don’t go ahead and develop a new genre. Also, just for your information, I was
monologuing there.)
Nevertheless, I was made aware of a new
possibility. If you add on “scrawny
four-eyed shitty virgin,” which I usually refer myself by, then maybe…
“Scrawny Four-Eyed Shitty Virgin Pig Onii-san?”
I am so sorry for making such an angelic cute girl
utter such profane words out of her mouth.
(Yeah, this isn’t something
where you can just combine whatever and it’ll be good. Let’s stop here. Thanks for going along with this strange
taste of mine.)
“That’s alright. I’m willing to try addressing you by whatever
you wished to be called by, so please feel free to let me know at any time.”
(I see. Thanks.)
Our short break was over, and
we resumed our journey. Nott, who loves
lap pillows, was probably still embarrassed, as he refused to make eye contact
with us.
Looking at the hilts of the twin daggers hanging from his waist – the hilts made from Ys’ bones, I thought to myself that they might have been her femur bones, judging by their thickness.
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